Consent is so important as we navigate dissociation! There are so many reasons why dissociation could feel helpful, including management of physical pain, concern around an upcoming trauma anniversary, mitigation of panic attacks or anxiety, being in a difficult but inescapable situation, and multitudes more. The person experiencing dissociation gets to determine if its helpful and if they would like to change it. We want to make sure we get consent from the person experiencing it or the members of the system before attempting to change the type or level of dissociation. The only limit to options for navigating dissociation is a person’s mind but here are a few ideas!

 

Choosing a different form of dissociation is always an option!

If dissociation is feeling helpful but the type of dissociation doesn’t feel comfortable or right, there are other options. Dissociation means to disconnect - how else might one do that? Again the options are endless!

Trance → Reading a book

Over-exercising → Playing a game

Drinking alcohol → Sleeping

Doom scrolling → Binge watching a show

 

These are just a few examples and there is no right or wrong when it comes to dissociation. The person who’s experiencing it gets to determine it’s helpful and if they want to try something else. It is often valuable to come up with a list of other ways to dissociate before it’s needed.

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Time Orientation

 

Time orientation can be so helpful if there’s a desire for more connection! The idea is we remind nervous system that it’s not in active danger the way it has been before by stating factual time, place, and circumstance (sometimes one of these feels more accessible than the others and that’s okay!). This might include age, year, location, objects nearby, aspects of physical appearance, and others.

 

Some examples include:

I am 42 and I can see my wedding ring on my hand. I’ve been married for two years. I am in my office in New Jersey. I got a text from my partner who sounded frustrated but I’m not in trouble.

 

I am 25 years old and I can see my tattoos on my arms that I’ve had for less than a year. My hair has been this short for two years. I can see my dog who’s been with me for four years and I can feel his presence. I saw an upsetting scene on TV. I am in my living room with my dog watching TV, I’m not in active danger.

 

I have adult hands. I can see my phone that I upgraded last year. I am wearing a sweater I got six months ago. I am in a difficult situation with my partner but I have more autonomy than I did as a child and I can make the choices that feel best for me.

 

Any piece of information could be helpful here and it varies by person and further by member of a system - sometimes it takes a second to figure out and that’s okay! A therapist can orient their client with factual information if it’s agreed upon, as could a friend, hotline operator, partner, etc.

 

Where you are in space and gravity

 

It can also be very connecting to sense into where you are in space. Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) suggests this taps into the superior colliculi in the midbrain which is responsible for sending activation signals to other areas of the brainstem. Each person might need something different just as each system member might.

 

This might look like:

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• Sensing the distance between yourself and the walls of the room you’re in

• Being with the sense of north, east, south, and west and guessing if you’re unsure

• Feeling the gentle sensation of gravity as you hold out a book

• Being with the sense of which way is up and which way is down

• Noticing any sounds and sensing into the direction they came from

 

If you’re familiar with DBR you might be aware these are all components of their WhereSelf exercise! Sensing into time and space allows for connection in ways typical orienting might not.

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Proprioception and proprioceptive pressure

 

Proprioception is the brain’s ability to sense its body’s movements, position, and power. Actions like pushing, pulling, lifting, or pressure involve proprioception.

 

I often invite my clients to:
 

• Put both hands against a wall and push

• Pull in opposite directions on an exercise band or pillow corner

• Hold or lift a weighted stuffie

• Use the balance beam in my office

• Stomp

• Wrap an exercise band around their shoulders and squeeze

• Carry a water bottle

 

There are many options! Practicing these skills before they’re needed can be supportive. Using them before they're needed can also be a great way for members of a system to practice communicating and supporting each other.